One thing fascinates me a lot. When we plan something or invest in or commit ourselves to, we often, neglect some of the most important things. The difficulty for us is that these are invisible. These are such integral parts of our life that we do not think of them.
Assumptions / Things we take for granted
We very often assume that our surroundings and our socioeconomic situations will remain the same.
We assume we will stay the same. Our wishes, desires, and needs will remain the same.
When we enjoy great fortune or success, – we expect our world to continue to be like that. On the other end of the spectrum, when we are suffering or feeling low, we assume that our bad situation will continue and we are doomed to be a failure for life.
We take for granted the rare gift of our five senses. Most of the time, fresh air, clean water, or a safe society are not even in our minds. The most precious things of life are mostly forgotten
That is why all our plans go haywire when something major happens in life – like serious illness, loss of job, or loss of dear ones.
We forget the fresh air till pollution hit us.
We appreciate the people after they are gone from our life.
Context
You probably have heard million times that context is everything.
This is the most important reason why satisfying our desire will never satisfy us. The context in which we ask for something disappears once we attain it.
For me, this happened when I moved to the US. My desire to come here was in the context of where I lived and the people I was surrounded by. Once I reached here, my context changed. It was a matter of a few weeks before the euphoria of reaching the land of my dream vanished. My world changed. So did my needs. My needs became so different – I found it hard to make my folks back at home appreciate it.
Very often we become disillusioned when we attain the things we were seeking. This is because we never considered how the context would change.
The ignorance of our nature, our privileges and our unique situations
Have you ever heard people react to an event saying that they cannot believe how people can do such and such thing? Have you ever said or heard others say that they would never do certain things?
The problem here is that we forget our nature. We do not even know ourselves well.
We forget that each of us has a sit of good and evil in our hearts. In The Gulag Archipelago, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn writes: –
“If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it was necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?”
R v Dudley and Stephens (1884) is a famous criminal case. Two sailors were shipwrecked. They did not have food or water for 18 days. Eventually, they killed the cabin boy with them and ate his flesh.
For most of us, we will probably never be exposed to such extreme situations, but the truth is we are capable of great good or evil.
What do we do about
The point is to be aware of all these factors.
For me, one of the key practices has been to give time daily to be aware of all the things in my life. I try to keep in my mind the great fortunes I have, and the privileges I enjoy. I try to remember that each and every one is part of the same life and we all are expressions of one life. I actually get surprised that how easy it is to forget all the great things we have in our life when we focus on our small world and our personal goals.
