Why I Renewed My Vow not to judge anybody

Introduction

We very often judge people. It feels natural. I try to refrain from doing it, but I usually end up doing it. The way I thought of judgment completely changed after listening to the audiobook – Elon Mask by Walter Isaacson.  After reading the book, I realized that holding onto our judgment is an act of ignorance and hurts us the most.

How it changed

This article is not about what I thought about him. This is not about what people think about or what he has done. It is about how I looked at this person changed.

Before reading the book, my impression of him was based on what I heard, read, or saw in the media. It is not that it is all wrong, and reality is different. It is an infinitesimally small part of what is the total picture. Instead of saying that I have seen the tip of the iceberg, I will say that I heard a few sentences about the tip of an iceberg till I read the book.

As I went through the book, I was fascinated by how he thinks, approaches problems, and his vision and passion. He is a visionary who has played a significant role in changing the course of mission to space. He has also made significant contributions to other areas.

This completely changed the way I looked at him.

Reflection

As I reflected on my change, I also realized that the basis of my judgment was – how I was affected personally, or at least I thought I was.

Then I thought of all the people he fired or who had severe personal consequences due to his actions or behavior. I would be very bitter if I were in their shoes. I would have cursed, wholly rejected, and probably would have nothing to do with him.

Yet, when I read how he changed the space mission and how his satellite changed the course of the Ukraine war, I realized that I would have missed out on this extraordinary aspect of a person if I had rejected him based on the information I got from media earlier.

Then and there, I realized that whenever I have rejected someone, it is based on how it has affected my interests. I do not consider the million other aspects of a person. I miss the great things and capabilities that person has. This also means something much bigger.

Implication

Our judgment of a person is more about ourselves than about the person. I realized that if I look at the people I consider good or bad or excellent or disgusting, I can understand myself.

With a fair amount of certainty, I can say that how you look at people can give a perfect image of who you are.

It is natural for us to judge. Yet, it is a judgment that keeps us stuck to our way of thinking.  It makes invisible the boundary we confine ourselves to. Being conscious when we are judgmental and taking a step back to appreciate the totality opens us up. It helps us understand life more. I remind myself not to deprive myself of the 99% of the other great things this person has. I now appreciate the quote by Abraham Lincoln –“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” This book is now an additional weapon in my arsenal to resist my urge to judge someone.